Things I Wish I Knew Then But Know Now, Part 3

Be Careful What You Wish For. You Just Might Get It. I’ve learned that having someone review my work for accuracy and readability is imperative. When he was still alive and well enough to do so, Brian Pohanka read just about everything that I wrote, and often gave excellent feedback. I still have a network of people that I turn to to provide this invaluable service, including, but not limited to, J. D. Petruzzi, Scott Patchan, Horace Mewborn, Bob O’Neill, Teej Smith, and one or two others. Their feedback is critical. They point out mistakes. They point out bad writing. And most of all, they give me their honest, unblinking assessment of my work, whether it’s what I want to hear or not. Inevitably, the work is ALWAYS better as a result of the feedback that I get from them, and I value the fact that they feel comfortable enough with our relationships to do that for me, knowing that I will set my ego aside and not get offended by whatever they might have to say about what I’ve asked them to read for me.

It can be difficult to hear somebody say “this sucks,” especially when you’ve poured your heart and soul into the work. But, you have to hear that feedback, take it to heart, and make the changes that they suggest. And you have to do so with no ego. You can’t get all offended by it and get all huffy and sulky over it. Otherwise, you can jeopardize your relationships, and your ego can get in the way of producing your best product.

The first time I had someone review my work and it got shredded, it stung. My feelings were hurt, and I sulked about it for a few days. Susan reminded me that I’d asked for an honest assessment, so I had no right to sulk over it. The gist of her comment was, “be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.” And she was right.

The simple truth is that you’ve just got to suck it up, say thank you, and do what needs to be done to make your product what you want it to be. You can’t sulk over it, and you most assuredly cannot be offended by it.

I try to do the same thing when I’m asked to review things. First, I appreciate the effort that others have given on my behalf, and I try to return the favor whenever possible. But I will not ever sugarcoat things. I tell people that they’re going to get an honest and unblinking assessment of their work and that if they think that can’t take that, then they’re better off not asking me to review their stuff for them. Ultimately, it’s not worth losing a friendship over. At the same time, I’m not doing them any favors if I don’t tell them the God’s honest truth about their work. And if they get all huffy about it after being warned, then it’s on them and not on me.

The bottom line is: be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it. If you don’t want an honest and unblinking assessment of your work, then please don’t waste my time or yours by asking me to review it for you. In return, I will do exactly the same thing.