Hilarity

First, please allow me to apologize for the absence. I had my portion of the Second Battle of Winchester book to write, and then I needed a break. I’m back in the saddle again, and I have some very funny stuff for you today.

This article appeared in the December 2, 1868 edition of the Weekly Atlanta Intelligencer, and it’s a riot.

What is thought of it–The Forrest-Kilpatrick Affair–Interesting and Spicy Correspondence.

The following correspondence explains itself. In consideration of the modesty of some parties, we give only initials:

New York, November 10

General J__n M. C___e:

Dear General,

Forrest says that I am “a liar, poltroon, and scoundrel.” What do you think about it?

Truly, etc.

Judson Kilpatrick

Chicago, November 14

General Kilpatrick:

Sir–yours received. I think so too.

Yours, etc.

J__n M. C___e, Maj. Gen.

New York, November 7

Gen. W. T. S_____n:

Dear Sir:

Forrest has published me as “a liar, poltroon, and scoundrel.” What ought I to do about it?

Very truly yours,

Judson Kilpatrick

Cheyenne, November 16

Gen. Kilpatrick:

Sir:

I think you ought to call out Forrest for having lied about you–that is, for having told only half the truth.

Yours,

W. T. S______n, Lieut. Gen.

New York, November 8

Gen. U. S. G____t:

Dear Sir:

Forrest, of Memphis, has published a card in which he says I am “a liar, poltroon and scoundrel.” What do you think should be done with an unhung rebel who thus vilifies a loyal soldier?

I am, my dear General, your most obedient servant,

Judson Kilpatrick

Washington, November 10

Gen. Kilpatrick:

I don’t know. Let us have peace. I have no policy on such matters. Have just had a present of a splendid bull slut.

Truly,

U. S. G___t, General

New York, November 19

Gen. B. F. B____r:

My dear sir:

Forrest, the infamous butcher of Fort Pillow, has published me as “a liar, poltroon and scoundrel.” What ought to be done?

Very truly,

Judson Kilpatrick

Massachusetts, November 13

Gen. Kilpatrick:

Dear sir–I think he ought to be impeached. If you cannot impeach his veracity, borrow his spoons and don’t return them.

Your friend,

B. F. B_____r

There are several more letters in our possession upon this subject. They are mostly to the point.

This is some truly funny stuff. This article clearly was written with tongue firmly in cheek and has some real fun at Judson Kilpatrick’s expense. The “letters” from Sherman, Grant, and Butler are especially funny. The bit about borrowing the spoons nearly caused me to do a spit-take. And I wholeheartedly agree with the “letter” by John M. Corse that indicates that he agreed with Forrest’s assessment of Kilpatrick. 🙂

Enjoy.