General News

My father had his stroke eight weeks ago yesterday. As I’ve said here before, when it first happened, he was almost 90% paralyzed on the right side of his body, his speech was a mess, he had a large cut in the vision in his right eye, and I fully expected that, at age 86, he would be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, and that he would have to spend the rest of his days in a nursing home. I had fully prepared myself for that probability, and was trying to find ways to make things easier for my mother. At his age, I never figured he would have sufficient recuperative power to (a) bounce back and (b) tolerate the very demanding rehab regime that accompanies the recovery from a stroke.

Since that time, he has made incredible strides. He also celebrated his 87th birthday on August 10.

He’s gotten back about 80% of the movement lost on the right side. He can walk very well with a walker, and a little bit without it. He’s gotten the use of his hand back, and even has enough fine motor skills back to eat with his right hand and to write a little bit. He can get in and out of bed without help. He can get in and out of chairs without help. As the blood from the hemorrhage continues to re-absorb, the doctors think he may see some more improvement, which would really be remarkable. The cut in his vision is still there, but it’s smaller, and they’re teaching him how to compensate for it. His speech, which was really a mess, is significantly impoved, and we all remain hopeful that it will continue to improve. I talked to him on the phone on Friday, and was pleasantly surprised at the progress. There are still a lot of things that can’t be understood, but the percentage of unintelligible versus intelligible has shifted to the point where I can now understand more than not (unless he’s really tired, at which time it’s pretty much impossible to understand anything he says).

I’m very pleased to say that he’s proven me quite wrong about the wheelchair, and now he’s also proven me quite wrong about the nursing home, too.

After a home assessment was done yesterday, he’s coming home next Tuesday. He’s being discharged from the nursing home to return home. I never thought that there would be any chance of that happening, but he’s made a remarkable recovery. He’s been very determined to work as hard as he could in order to come home, and it’s now paying dividends. At 87, he’s a tough old bird, and he apparently decided that it wasn’t time for him to quit just yet. I’m proud of him.

Thank you to everyone who expressed concern for his well-being and who kept us in your prayers. It is much appreciated, and it apparently paid off.

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Well, we’re home. It’s been another very long day of driving that included a brief (90 minute) detour to and stop in Gettysburg today so I could see about acquiring a few more primary sources for the retreat manuscript (I bought 8 books that represent primary source material that will help to flesh out the story even more).

Okay, here’s the latest on my dad. We didn’t get to see him on Thursday night, as we got in too late. Traffic was horrific on the trip, and it rained like hell the whole way. What is normally a 7 hour drive was nearly 9 as a result. So, we got there too late to see him.

Friday morning, Susan and I surprised him at breakfast. He’s come a tremendously long way. His speech is clearer (when he’s not exhausted), and he was glad to see us. We went and got him a birthday cake, and came back later for a birthday celebration. We watched him go through his occupational therapy, and I was thrilled to see him walking, both with and without the walker. Considering that I fully expected him to be wheelchair bound for the rest of his life, you can imagine how thrilling it was to see that. In short, he will not have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. Susan and I then went and got him dinner at his favorite restaurant and carried it in to him as a special birthday treat. He went through those ribs like Sherman went through Georgia. 🙂

On Saturday, he was discharged from the hospital and transferred to a long-term rehab unit in a nursing home. Although he was very tired when we got there, he hadn’t been outdoors since the day before the stroke, and the weather was gorgeous–warm and sunny but not much humidity. So, we took him outside in his wheelchair and sat and enjoyed the day for a while. When I got him back into bed after that, he was snoring within three minutes. Poor guy was absolutely wiped out.

Today, we took him a television set from home before heading out of town, and he had gotten a good night’s sleep. Consequently, he was bright and cheerful and attentive when we got there, and his speech was pretty clear. I hated to leave, but we had no choice.

He’s come a tremendously long way in just five and a half weeks. I still don’t know whether he will ever be able to come home, but even if he can’t, he will be able to enjoy a pretty good quality of life, since he’s ambulatory again. I feel much better about things.

My mother is a challenge, but I won’t bore you with that. Suffice it to say that there’s a lot of pressure on me. However, it’s great to see him coming along.

Back to the Civil War tomorrow……

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I realized that it’s been some time since I’ve given an update on my father. The stroke was five weeks ago today. Remember that when it happened, he was nearly completely paralyzed on the right side and really couldn’t speak very well at all.

Five weeks later, he’s gotten most of the movement back on the right side. He walked about fifty yards with a walker the other day and is making good and steady progress. He’s getting some of the dexterity back in his hand, and he got put back on a normal diet today. His speech is still garbled, but it’s better. About half of what he says is clear as a bell, and the other half is pretty much completely unintelligible. But, he’s now able to string several words together coherently. He’s desperate to go home, but we still don’t know whether he will ever be able to do so. On Saturday, he will be transferred from the rehab unit at the hospital, where he’s been for nearly a month, and will go to a rehab facility.

Friday is his 87th birthday. Susan and I are headed there tomorrow to celebrate it with him. We will be back on Sunday evening. If I have time, I will try to post something while we’re in Pennsylvania, but please don’t be surprised if I’m not able to do so until we get back.

The prayers and good wishes of all of you undoubtedly helped. We’re all touched by it. Thank you.

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We just got home to Columbus. Susan spent 11 days with my parents, and I was there for nearly 8. I am mentally and physically exhausted.

My father is in the rehab unit. For eleven days post-stroke, he’s doing remarkably well. He’s completely out of danger. For the first several days after the stroke, he was pretty much completely paralyzed on the right side. He’s gotten back movement in both his right arm and right leg. He can raise his arm, and he can point his index finger. He can bend his knee, flex his foot, and wiggle his toes. He still has a great deal of trouble finding words and communicating, but his speech is more clear than it was. The progress is really pretty remarkable.

At the same time, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Progress is measured in tiny steps, not giant leaps, and my mother is having a great deal of trouble dealing with that. We still have no idea whether he will ever be able to come home, or whether he will spend the rest of his days in a nursing home, which is what I suspect. He is extremely frustrated by his inability to communicate as he wants and he’s also frustrated by his inability to get his body to respond. He got very upset today when we left–he didn’t want us to go. Had doctors understood the concept of ADHD when my father was a child in the 1930’s, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind he would have been diagnosed as such. Even at 86, he still shows a lot of the major symptons of ADHD, and has never been able to sit still. He’s got to be going bonkers over not being able to come and go. Poor guy.

My mother is also having a tremendous amount of difficulty dealing with the concept of being alone after 48 years, which I can certainly appreciate. I’ve arranged for her to have someone help her, and we’re doing the best we can. Personally, I am exhausted, and I am dealing with a great deal of guilt at the moment about leaving.

We will be here until my father’s birthday, which is August 10. We will head back to Pennsylvania for his birthday, when he will be 87. For now, it’s back to our normal routine. Both of us have to earn some money, pure and simple.

Tomorrow, however, we’re going to enjoy a treat. Some of you might recall that Susan and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary on June 27. We decided to do something fun and special for ourselves to celebrate our anniversary. Before our anniversary, I purchased two tickets for us to see The Police in Cleveland tomorrow night. I saw them in 1981, 1982, and 1983, and I’ve been waiting for nearly 25 years for another opportunity to see them. I wasn’t going to miss that chance when it presented itself, so we’re heading up there tomorrow night for the concert. That’s something just for us. I know I need it.

Tuesday night, I promise to get back to posting about things pertinent once again. I have a significant announcement to make and will do so on Tuesday.

And, I wanted to thank everyone who has posted kind words or kind wishes here, as well as for the numerous private e-mails I’ve received from you. You have no idea how much they’ve meant to me and to my family, especially as we struggled through these extremely difficult days. I also wanted to say a special thank you to old friend Brooks Simpson for the terrific hockey post he dedicated to me yesterday. Thanks, Brooks. I needed that.

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I fly back to Philadelphia tomorrow morning. There are some business things that I need to handle for my father–I have his power of attorney–that have to be done during normal business hours, so I’m out of here tomorrow at 9:15, which means that the dogs have to be boarded again. With my friend Chris’ help, we will take them to the boarding place in the morning, and then he will drop me at the airport. Susan and I will then drive back on Sunday.

My father continues to improve. At this point, he’s out of danger. Even the neurologist, who’s used to seeing this sort of thing all the time, has been terribly impressed by his progress. He sat up in a chair for a couple of hours yesterday, and was able to feed himself all three meals, albeit with his left hand. He’s now able to raise his right arm over his head and to move his fingers. He’s also got some more range of motion in his leg. He still has trouble speaking, but he’s now able to string a few words together. He’s doing well enough that they will be moving him from the stroke unit to the rehab unit later today. The jury is still out on whether he will ever be able to come home, or whether he will have to be in a nursing home for the rest of his days, but considering that the stroke was just a week ago today, he really is doing extremely well, better than any of us could have hoped for.

Jennie, of the American Presidents blog, tagged me yesterday. Normally, I would be happy to oblige and play this silly game, but I just don’t have the time or inclination right at the moment due to circumstances, so I deleted her comments–callously placed in two places, right where I made the first two posts about my father’s illness–and left her a comment letting her know that I was declining the tag and declining to participate. I’m all for having fun, but there’s a right time and a right place, and putting these two comments in the least appropriate places possible really didn’t sit well with me. Jennie, maybe next time, you might read the posts where you’ve placed your tags and consider whether they’re appropriate. Please allow me to suggest that a post where I’ve just gotten done discussing my father’s near fatal stroke is neither the right time nor the right place for frivolous silliness.

Again, thanks to everyone for all of the many statements of support and good wishes. They mean the world to me.

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I am back home in Columbus. I had pressing client business, and without having had the luxury of being able to plan to be away, there were things I couldn’t reschedule too well. So, we made the decision that I would fly back today, spend three days in the office taking care of what needs to be done, and then fly back to Philadelphia on Thursday, so that I can take care of some business matters for my dad. Susan and I will then drive home a week from today. She’s going to stay with my mother all week just to make sure that somebody’s keeping an eye on her and helping her out as much as possible.

My father had a serious dominant side cerebral hemorrhage on Wednesday morning. Fortunately, my mother recognized that the trouble he was having finding words was a significant problem and called 911. The paramedics got there quickly, and my parents are lucky enough to live just five minutes from a level-one trauma center, meaning that the hospital has a well-established protocol for elderly stroke victims. Within thirty minutes of the first symptoms, he was in a CT scan, determining the size and extent of the bleed.

The bleed was far enough to the outside that it did not affect his central nervous system. He never lost consciousness. The neurosurgeon told me that normally when he sees a bleed this large, the patient comes in in a coma and often never wakes up. Luckily, my father never lost consciousness, so he never had to go on a respirator or anything like that. He was always breathing on his own. He’s doing well enough that he was transferred out of the ICU and to the stroke unit 48 hours after the stroke. He’s alert, he’s communicative, he still has his sense of humor, and he’s eating. He’s definitely still in there. That’s the good news.

The bad news is that he has some very significant deficits on his right side. He’s having a LOT of trouble speaking. Some things he says are crystal clear, but others are completely unintelligible. He struggles very hard to find words and sometimes can, but most times can’t. He spent two whole days trying to ask me to do something for him until I finally figured out what he was asking me to do. It’s incredibly frustrating for him, and that’s tough to watch.

He also has some significant paralysis on the right side. His right arm was completely paralyzed until yesterday, when he suddenly got some movement back. He overdid it, though, and tired himself out and can’t do as much today. His right leg also has a major deficit, but he was able to bend the knee to 45 degrees repeatedly yesterday, and could also flex his toes and even press forward a little bit. These things ebb and flow. He will have good days like yesterday and setbacks like today, and we just have to learn to roll with the punches.

Only time will tell. The blood has begun re-absorbing, but it’s going to be some time–probably several months–until we know what the permanent result is. I seriously doubt he will be able to go home; since the docs expect he will be wheelchair bound, he will probably have to spend the rest of his days in a nursing home. But, at least he’s still with us. My mother is not in great health, either–in fact, she has lots of physical problems of her own. She’s very dependent on my father, and I really don’t know how she’s going to manage on her own. I suspect we’re going to have to look for a care facility where they can be together.

I’m an only child, and I live 400 miles away. I also have a business to run with clients who very much rely upon me, so I need to be here most of the time. Likewise, Susan’s in the process of starting up a business, so she can’t afford to be away for extended periods, either. The distance means that there’s only so much I can do. This is going to be an ordeal the likes of which I have never experienced and don’t know what to expect.

I want to thank everyone for the good wishes and expressions of support posted here. They’ve meant more to me than I can hope to describe, and I want you all to know how much I appreciate them. While I think my father is out of danger, please continue to keep us in your prayers.

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Major hat tip to Dimitri Rotov for pointing this out.

It seems that Google got a healthy taste of its own medicine. Check out Richard Charkin’s blog. That’s poetic justice if ever it existed.

And yes, Dimitri, I am very pleased. 🙂

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My regular readers know I do a lot of conferences/seminars. I’ve tried to cut back over the past couple of years. It becomes too time consuming and keeps me away from the office too much at times. I’ve been trying to limit my participation in these events to a minimum, meaning that there are only a few that I will do regularly. One is the annual Middleburg Conference on Leadership in the Civil War, put on by the Mosby Heritage Area Association every October. Another is the annual Shenandoah Civil War Associates seminar, sponsored by James Madison University (this one starts a week from tomorrow, and I will be there; more on this later).

The other, which I try never to miss when I’m invited, is old pal Ted Alexander’s annual July Civil War extravaganza, sponsored by the Greater Chambersburg Area Chamber of Commerce. Ted invites me to present or lead a tour most years, but this year’s program is Antietam, and while I enjoy the Battle of Antietam a great deal, nobody would ever call me an expert on it. Consequently, I wasn’t invited this year for the first time in a LONG time.

This year’s event promises to be the ultimate Antietam fest. There are forty speakers lined up, including Ed Bearss, James McPherson, Dennis Frye, Jeff Wert, Ethan Rafuse, Mark Snell, Tom Clemens, and anyone who’s anybody regardng the Battle of Antietam. The conference runs from July 25-29, and is based in Chambersburg. There are numerous lectures and lots of good choices for battlefield tours.

This promises to be the Antietam event to end them all, and I can tell you from six or seven years of prior experience that Ted runs a first-rate operation. Next year’s event will be Gettysburg oriented, and J. D. and I will be doing a bus tour of the some of the sites associated with Stuart’s ridge, as discussed in our book Plenty of Blame to Go Around: Jeb Stuart’s Controversial Ride to Gettysburg. If I didn’t have an event next weekend and another one the following weekend, I would really consider attending, but I’ve got too much on my plate as it is and I can’t afford the time away.

The cost is reasonable–it’s $685 for the entire program, which includes hotel, buses, tours, etc. There are also options to do part of the program. Ted has a lot of loyal folks who come back year after year. Part of the fun each year is catching up with the regulars. Ted also uses these events to raise money for battlefield preservation. Each year, there is a live auction, and there are multiple book raffles, and lots of money is raised for donation for good battlefield preservation causes.

I can’t say enough good things about Ted’s programs. Check them out. You won’t be disappointed.

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I sent Wayne Motts an e-mail today, asking for an update on Mike’s condition. Wayne called Mike, and here’s what he had to say in response:

Mike is back home at Fort Hood, TX which is his HQ base. He is now making appointments to see doctors. It is not known at this time whether he will have full use of his arm. He of course will have to go through rehabilitation. His future in the military at this point is uncertain. He is lucky to be alive.

At least he’s home, in one piece, and out of harm’s way. Let’s hope that he continues to improve and that he doesn’t lose the function in his arm. Get well soon, Mike.

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Tomorrow is time for another banzai run. I’m speaking to the Rufus Barringer Civil War Roundtable in Pinehurst, NC. It’s an hour drive from here to there. I speak tomorrow night, and we’re going to stay in Pinehurst tomorrow night.

Our friend Teej Smith, who lives in Pinehurst, and who is the program chair for the CWRT, just had major jaw surgery two days ago, so she’s not particularly up to having house guests. Consequently, instead of staying until Saturday, we’re going to head to Greensboro on Friday for a tour of the Guilford Courthouse Revolutionary War battlefield and then start heading north. We will spend Friday night somewhere in Mt. Airy, North Carolina, the hometown of Andy Griffith and the model for Mayberry, R.F.D., and then come home on Saturday. It’s another banzai run….

I will post photos from Guilford Courthouse once we get home.

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